Monday, May 16, 2016

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where i've been.

Where I've Been - Writing from An Ocean Dream

Hi.

It's been awhile.

Really, it's been a year.

In that year, I completed a year of college. I moved five hours from home. I lived in a dorm. I met people and made friends and navigated through classes and activities and ministries and the cafeteria during the 12 o'clock lunch hour. :)

I did a lot. I met GPA goals and went to concerts and served as an editor for the school paper and cooked for friends and went camping and volunteered as a tutor at a middle school.

But I neglected a lot too. 

I didn't call my parents enough, didn't text my sister enough, didn't email my grandparents enough. I slept in and tweeted and cleaned my room instead of spending time with the Lord. I thought about my own things instead of praying. And, get this, I gave up Scripture memorization because I didn't want to overload my brain with all the other facts about tectonic plates and B-roll footage and marketing and internal attribution that I was cramming into my mind.

Sin? 

I didn't party, drink or do anything like that. But maybe sin is quiet too. Maybe sin is believing that attending chapel three times a week is enough Jesus. Maybe sin is assuming that you are 'good enough' because everyone else says you are. 

And maybe a wakeup call from that quiet sin comes when you realize that your life would be the same without Jesus. Because the choices you're making aren't because you're obedient to your Lord or love your Savior. It's because you're a good kid who wants to be respected by those around her. 

But who knows about the little, quiet ways distance from the Lord can creep into your life? The cruelty and jealousy you are shocked to feel and the gossip and rudeness that rises from that. The pride that separates you from others. The deceitfulness. The having to have it all together and not wanting to face the Lord because in Him you realize your brokenness that can only be fixed by Him, not by your grades and resume and striving. 

So that's where I've been.

But that's not where I'm going. I'm working on memorizing Psalm 17:15. "As for me, I will be vindicated and will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness." I want to be satisfied in the Lord and Him alone.

This was what I wrote in my journal the day I got home from school:


"I feel like this year, this semester, and especially these last few weeks, I've been walking through a fog. 

In the forest of my life.

I fell off the path and then had to push through all these thorns and brush and would sometimes cross back over the path and maybe even stay on it for a short distance but would then wander off again.

And then I was running our of fear and anxiety and tripped into a muddy creek and was cold, wet and caked in dirt that kept weighing me down.

Be my rescue team and find me, dirty, cold, lost and afraid. Take me in and clean all the mud and dirt and shame off of me and set my feet on the path and hold my hand as we walk it together.

Lord, bring me back."


Where I'm going is wherever the Lord will take me.

Thanks for reading my honesty.

Blessings,
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Monday, April 4, 2016

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What Makes Me Happy Monday 4/4


How often do we stop and think about what makes us happy - the little, ordinary things that fill us with joy?

I know that I don't do that enough, so every Monday, I try to write a few things that make me happy.

My sister.

This semester, I got to go home for my sister's birthday, spring break and Easter. I love my family, and it's been wonderful to visit them! My sister is my best friend. She is amazing and is doing incredible things. I am so proud of her, and I can't wait to be with her this summer.

Getting into the classes I wanted.

Class registration is like a long, stressful race for me. I feel that every second that ticks by as I wait for course registration to load, someone else gets a seat in the class I want. Fortunately, I got into all my first choice classes for next semester! ... I also won't have a lunch break Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but I'll pack snacks, right?

Chipotle.

Think of it what you will, but burrito bowls from Chipotle are delicious.

What makes you happy today?

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Thursday, March 31, 2016

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Throwback Thursday // Snow Day


Happy Thursday, friends!

The weather is warming up, and summer is almost here!

Here's a throwback to one of the best days of this semester: a snow day. It wasn't the best because classes were cancelled (although that was certainly a plus). It was a good day because it was spent with friends without the pressure of schedules and homework.

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The winter weather is beautiful - crisp and cold, snow swirling through the air. Oh, beautiful when observed from a warm room. When you have to trudge through biting wind flinging ice in your face to go to your 8 a.m. class, it's not always the best. However, this is still a great season and it is still beautiful, whether observed from the outside or inside.


Another thing this weather brings is whispers and rumors and hopes of a snow day. Coveted by students everywhere, these days are surprise vacations to be spent watching Netflix or sleeping.... or actually being productive.


These are pictures from a snow day a earlier in the semester.


See more of the snow day fashion shoot I did with my friend Calicia on her beautiful blog, Weekend Well.

That snow day morning was also when I made up the recipe for gluten-free cornmeal pancakes. Find the recipe here!


Wishing you a happy spring,
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Monday, March 14, 2016

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Gluten-Free Cornmeal Pancakes


Greetings all!

Ever since going gluten-free, my consumption of waffles and pancakes has gone down severely. Once last semester, I tried the frozen gluten-free waffles in the cafeteria.... gross.

BUT I made up the recipe for these delicious gluten-free cornmeal chocolate chip pancakes. They are much denser than wheat pancakes, but the flavor is great. I didn't even use syrup as the chocolate chips gave the pancakes just enough sweetness.

Gluten-Free Cornmeal Chocolate Chip Pancakes Recipe
  • 1 cup cornmeal
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tbs vegetable oil
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • chocolate chips
Mix wet ingredients in a bowl and then stir in cornmeal until smooth. You may need to add more water depending on the thickness of the batter. Fold in chocolate chips. Cook on a buttered skillet or griddle. Flip the pancakes when the top looks matte.

Enjoy with butter, syrup, jelly, bacon, fruit, juice and all the breakfast foods your heart desires. Also best eaten with friends while watching Netflix during a snow day.


Enjoying this gluten-free breakfast!
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Sunday, January 10, 2016

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My Word for 2016 // Awakening

My Word for 2016 - Awakening // An Ocean Dream

a·wak·en·ing

an act or moment of becoming suddenly aware of something

Ephesians 5:8-14

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

I want this year to be a time of awakening in my soul. What does that look like? I want to pursue and love the LORD first and above all else. I want my soul to be awakened from the dormancy of living in a broken world. I want my mind to be set on things above, giving me purpose and the right perspective on things below. I want to find the balance of eternity and today. I want to be most excited about the LORD and the adventure of life in Christ. I want to live as a child of the light, Christ shining through me.

My Word for 2016 - Awakening // An Ocean Dream


What is your word for 2016?
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P.S. Having a real word for 2016 is kind of ironic, considering this was my joking word for the year. :) Truly an AWAKENING! Hahaha so punny.

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